2019 – !DENTITY …

Listen I’ll start of with thanks to God…

A bit too Cliche?

Well here we go anyway….

Thank you God for the growth, the lessons within each battle with its different levels of pressure & for keeping me & my loved ones upright from January right through to the last day of December. From 2010 right through to the next decade. You have been faithful. Honestly, it only could have been you.

… because this year had to be top 5 weirdest years of my life, simply the grace of God carried me through it all. I mean I’m talking internal battles here, things you can’t see. Battles with my flesh my mind, my spirit my heart? It was weird.

I can only put this year down to my identity…

10/12 months if not every month I’d find my self having an identity crisis, identity battle whatever you want to call it but a serious clash between my spirit & my flesh and it hurt so bad each time. Every day it was a matter of “who’s gonna win today Larissa” stay tuned for what happens next kinda energy…

It hurt each time cause I really was out here doing up ‘prodigal son’ wandering off doing a mad ting then hurting on my way back home – I mean literally.

Damn. You know what had to be the worst?

I could feel God hurting during my ‘wander’ . You know I would usually hurt ‘after’ … but he’d hurt ‘during’ my wander 💔. I’m telling you I could feel / hear him saying “Larissa … Why are you doing this?”

Sometimes he’d even warn me but I’d pick my flesh.

His voice is so gentle, subtle, soothing & sweet. Words can’t describe how gentle & subtle it nearly sounds too soft & quiet to be real but it’s there… you can feel him. He’s there the whole time just hurting.

That has to be the worst.

I’d feel so sick cause why do I keep hurting someone who just wants to love me?

So I’ll try and answer this question myself.

• I hadn’t located the problem like what is it exactly that I am looking for or what is it that keeps making me fall. I think the benefit of falling so many times is you start to understand the feeling you get from it . You either love it or you don’t. Then you identify the common factor of WHY you keep falling – what’s the motive behind it all.

• Apart from that I guess sometimes I was angry with God cause I’m not where he promised I’d be & it feels like the revelation is lingering – Habakkuk 2 vs 3.

• Or he puts me through another test another trial & nothing stays good forever. So sometimes I may try & deal with it myself knowing I have no help on my own & end up back on my knees praying to God.

Do you know why?

The reason is within all of my boomerang episodes. God remains faithful & God still loves me he still favours me, he still protects me, He is at the core of my heart & this is who identify with. I guess our relationship Is who I am because he understands me but he just wants me to get it right.

I have favour in Gods sight & I think that needs to be the confidence I walk in next year.

I still passed my driving, my brother still entered one of the best secondary schools, my sister in her last year of school, I have another nephew. My family are healthy, my friends are healthy. Along the way I’ve had destiny helpers help me. Favour even follows me to work I can implement Inclusion Cafe at work using my PTSD to make a change at work…. & AGAPE Lord AGAPE. Our first event & We sold out! I put your word to test & you did it for me but most of all for your glory,

I have every reason to be in love with him.

The question God kept asking me this year is

“Where can I seat you?”

I guess he wants me to dwell on that. For him to ‘sit’ me anywhere I must be ready. God has a plan. I have to trust him before man & pick him over every man.

On that note 2019 been a good year but next year there needs to be a change in my focus.

All of this triggered our next event – !dentity Talk (flyer attached above) on 12th January 2020. We want to enter the new decade thinking ‘Who Am I?’

Come through & be B for Blessed🙏🏾

https://shoobs.com/events/46789/identity-talk – TICKETS HERE!

Happy New Year Champs❤️

2020 we’re coming stronger!! Thanks 2019 but IM OUT✌🏾